Five ways to have a great relationship with self

Having a relationship with your-self sounds slightly crazy, and I know why; this sounds crazy only because it’s hardly talked about. We talk about having a great relationship with partner, best friend, and even your pet, but somehow we often fail to advocate for having yourself as your bestie, and building a foundation of trust, honesty and respect with yourself. In this article, I am going to explore 5 very important ways in which you can build, develop and maintain a great relationship with self. Read on!

1. Listen to your emotions

A lot of us as children especially males were told that crying depicts weakness and weakness is something no one ever wants to show. As a result of this, sometimes we tend to sweep our emotions under a rug or disregard what we feel, leaving our emotions suppressed, unheard and unfelt. It is important to note though, that emotions that are not amicably dealt with especially as adults, will find other ways of seeping out through our behavioral patterns. Listening to your emotions does not always mean crying, it also means allowing yourself to feel and process what you are feeling uninhibitedly, and expressing yourself in a way that allows you to feel safe and heard-even by yourself. (I may need to write a separate blog about listening to your emotions). You may need some time away from everyone and everything to express yourself, and if you do- take the time sugar muffin!

2. Have honest conversations with self

Have you ever been upset or down and you don’t even know why you are feeling that way?

Well guess what, you can ask someone why, and no not God. You can ask yourself.

Often times, this is as a result of not processing emotions properly. Maybe you didn’t shut down that guy who body shamed you in a joke today, but you felt it. Maybe you ignored someone’s condescending tone when you asked a question, but you were thrown off by it. What about making a very important point but you were interrupted by that loquacious cretin always looking to be seen? Maybe you just walked off, and ignored that fact that you were disrespected. Ask yourself my darling, why am I upset? Why do I feel the way I do? Sure enough, as you replay the events of your day and mentally flip the pages, you will feel that tingly sensation in your chest when you arrive at the needle in the haystack.

3. Trusting your hunch!

In Jamaica, we call it “Mi Spirit”. In other parts of the world, it’s called intuition or hunch and you’ve gotta trust it if you are looking to build a foundation of trust with yourself. Our bodies are programmed to sense danger or when something is wrong. This is one of our most primal senses as animals, however we have evolved so much that we primarily tend to rely on intelligence and analyzing everything to understand and react. (I believe both in creation and evolution, but I will not digress right now). The point is, not everything can be expressed with words, some things you can only feel honey and when you feel that something is off, or that you need to leave, or that you need to go, or that you need to hold off before signing that deal, trust that feeling and understand that you are equipped with the necessary ammunition and tools to ensure your survival!

4. Speak the truth

Have you ever told a lie, and everyone believes you, but you felt disappointed in yourself? Why lie when you already know the truth? I know, society has tricked us into believing that we are living to impress others, but the truth is that we are living to impress only ourselves, and in our final moments, only what we did with the time we were given will matter, not what anyone else thought of us. Speaking the truth might not always be easily digested by others, but it does wonders for your conscience, self esteem and your character. Be brave enough to speak the truth, irrespective of the repercussions and I assure you, you will sleep like a baby as your conscience will be clean and light. Remember it’s about you, not them!

5. Celebrating your small victories

Congratulating yourself on your small victories gives yourself that extra boost you may need to continue excelling. You don’t always need to go on a speaker or become overly conceited, but pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments and for meeting your goals that no one may even know about!

Big up yuhself!

#lifelessons #growing #trustingself