Green Flags in Friendships

More often than not, we see posts about red flags in relationships as if they're the only color flags to look out for in a world where there're so many colors to see. Training ourselves to only see red flags conditions our minds to see only the bad, ignoring all the good things because you are not looking for those. I do think though, for every bad, there is good and possibly in equal quantities.

Wow, that sounds like a quote I'll be remembered for so let me try to sound smart then!

Me trying to sound smart: "The amount of bad we encounter is directly proportional to the amount of good we also encounter". Still a hypothesis, so don't quote me on that... Yet.

I'm kidding, quote me.. everyday if you please :) Sorry, lets get back to the blog. What I'm saying though is as much as we are keen on identifying red flags, we should also be keen on spotting and celebrating green flags in our friendships and relationships. Here are some green flags that when you spot them in a blossoming or an established friendship, you'll just smile and bask in the knowledge that your friendship is genuine! 1. You leave the friend's home or your outing feeling refreshed and happy. Going out with this person or visiting their home, should not feel like a battle of emotions or like you are being forced to. If you leave their presence and feel drained or down and it's a consistent feeling each time you are around this person, you may want to consider the longevity of this friendship because it's clear that this person drains your energy.. literally. 2. You look forward to spending time with this person A purely platonic relationship, and yet you are excited about the time you'll spend together - after quarantine of course - and not just because you're probably in need of human interaction, but because you do enjoy the company of this person, and you also enjoy who you are when you are around them! In more cliché words, "they bring out the best in you!" 3. They listen to you We all wanna be heard right? Right. This friend though doesn't just hear you ramble on and dismiss you, but he actually listens to you, fully engaging in conversation and to top it all off, he remembers! Remembering details of your life and things you say mean that this person pays attention to you and is invested in the friendship just as you are! 4. They make an effort to understand. Listening is wonderful, but if you are listening and you don't understand a word or the situation, what's the purpose? If you notice that this friend asks questions, and actively makes an effort to decode when you explain, this friend is a keeper. 5. They hold you accountable Sometimes when someone you love holds you accountable for your bad habits you may feel attacked. It takes a great deal of emotional maturity to not get defensive, but to sit and listen to your friend communicate how you may have crossed a line. Even though you probably want to fight, keep calm and recognize that this person does want to maintain a friendship with you, and they're not attacking you, but attacking whatever bad habit you may have that needs to be addressed so you can become your best self! Love that person for checking your a$$ :) 6. They respect your boundaries In friendships, relationships and acquaintances boundary setting is important. When you have a friend that observes the boundaries you have set and adhere to these, you know your friend respects you as an individual, and respects the friendship you both have. You also know that this friend is a keeper, and as I like to say "very much mek sense".

7. They tell you the cold hard truth If you have someone you consider friend, and they agree with every single thing you say and do, you may want to reevaluate the nature of this friendship. A friendship shouldn't be based on constant oppositions but a true friend will not simply agree with your point of views on every topic. A true friend is not afraid to tell you to change what you are wearing, or call you out (not in public or to embarrass you ) but to let you know that you are not always right, nor are you always wrong- cause it goes both ways. Right? Right. Those are 7 of the 1,000,000,000,000,000 traits I have observed in a number of those I call my friends, and I am proud of myself for cultivating these friendships, and for choosing to allow these beautiful souls into my life. Also, I'm incredibly thankful, that they've allowed some awesomeness into their lives my loving me :) Thanks for reading, oh and that number with 15 zeros is a quadrillion, I got the feeling you skipped it, lazy ass.