What's it like living with the big 'D'? No, not that D!

Living with Depression

Some days I wake up and I see the sun. I am embraced and enveloped in its warmth. I am kissed by bright orange and I kiss back.

Some days I wake up, and I hear the birds. I am serenaded with melodies of hope and gratitude.

Some days I wake up and I feel the gentle morning breeze. My skin tingles with anticipation for what the day holds for me.

That’s some day... only some days.

Other days, I wake up and my vision fails. I only see grey clouds and they also envelope me in their rigid dry humidity.

Other days, I wake up and my hearing fails. I hear only the screeching of my inner demons. Other days, I wake up and I feel the harsh air grating at my skin. My skin crawls with discomfort at the thought of the next hour.

Both days - I am me.

Seyline Thompson ©2019.

This is what living with depression and anxiety feels like.

Think of it this way (from a learning swimmer).

Life feels like water. A vast surrounding body of water and since we know that our bodies consist of 70% of water, we already know that water supports life.

Anyways, let your imagination roam with me for a bit and let’s imagine that the beach signifies life or just living in general.

I love the beach by the way and on my calm, happy, peaceful days I am floating. Of course, baby waves and water splash in my face now and then, but I feel at peace and they don’t drag me under.

Some days I am on top, and I may get on one of the floaty things (floaties) and dive off simply because I can’t stay on the floaty thing forever. In diving off sometimes I go down deep and much deeper than expected.

But you know what? Like my swimming instructor loves to say, “trust the water,” or “knees to chest to stop swimming and get upright.”

It’s okay to curl up with your knees to your chest in bed until you are upright again. It’s okay to sink and surrender to the water. Trust that the buoyancy of the water will bring you up and when it does, you’ll be on top again.

Though encouraging, thinking like this is a coping mechanism so to ensure that you are not merely coping all the days of your life, please seek the help of a professional so you can get to the root of past traumas and hurts that you haven’t healed from just so you can emerge as your best self, and remain constantly in that state of being. (Yes, I’m saying it’s important that you get therapy.)

Thanks for reading and remember try to stay above the water (literally) 😉 and if you ever go under, trust the buoyancy to bring you back up.